Fear is a terrible thing that can give you the jitters, hold you back or at worst really drag you down. The jitters are bad enough when we imagine all sorts that can happen and go wrong instead of saying, ‘Oh to hell with the diet’ and go out and buy a bag of ‘Liquorice All Sorts’ to make you feel happy munching on such sweet delights and if you are really lucky you might find a black Bertie Basset in the bag!
Fear is a curse that is a bit like an errant Time Lord that spans the ages and causes your mind to surge between regretting the past so much that you become depressed and so anxious because you are worrying about what might or might not happen in the future you become frightened of attempting anything.
One of the greatest fears is of not wanting to move!
You know, being so worried about what the future will bring that you would rather stay stuck in the past. ‘Better the devil you know’ and all that! And that’s what can really hold you back from where you really need to be. There is a subtle difference between being and living in the moment of Now and not wanting to go forward into the unknown future because it frightens you.
They say an Englishman’s home is his castle, but bolting the door and pulling up the drawbridge to let the world pass you by is no way to live. It is in fact a way to die. It’s like the girl who was told she would meet and marry a tall, dark and handsome stranger and live happily ever after. So she went home shut the door and waited. Not impossible but highly unlikely that the postman or the milkman would be the one of her dreams!
It is true though that many of us mentally flit from past to future and forget about the Now so that life literally passes us by. It begs the question: ‘How on Earth can we hope to be happy, allowing life to surge past when our minds are elsewhere?’
The same goes for those of us who were afraid of retirement, wondering how on earth we would manage to fill our days and with nothing to do ended up getting under our partners feet causing inevitable arguments and prompting midlife crises, feelings of loss of youth and secret affairs happening just to prove the opposite with the obvious consequences.
It’s a pity they don’t teach us about the important things like parenting and retirement before we get chucked in the deep end and make so many mistakes, which far from learning experiences can end up leading to desperation, depression and worse.
I know that many, because of the culture in which they live, have to spend all hours on the job and have no time to invest in other activities that would give them pleasure and something to fall back on if the job failed, they were made redundant or eventually retired to make them happy like a hobby or hobbies.
Some are frightened of just growing old!
Well my friends there is no stopping Father Time. I saw an interview with a lovely Cuban man the other day who was over 100 years old and when asked his secret he said simply, ‘Walking!’ Only now it seems we have found out that exercise is beneficial not only for the body but also for the brain as well and this guy had all his marbles!
I was made redundant twice in a row due to economic crises and reactive depression set in and was out of it for the next four years living on autopilot. But when it came to retirement many years later having been blessed with many talents I wondered how I ever had time to go to work!
There is no one answer for everyone and certainly if you have a fairly fragile frame like mine then walking is about the limit to exercise. I tried jogging and nearly gave myself a heart attack as it seemed to the neighbours that I’d fallen in love with a lamppost 100 yards from home. I always used to say that exercise for me was falling off my pencil! But a walk in the healing energies of the outdoors is highly beneficial and an interest as simple as stamp collecting can be the very stimulus to keep the cogs turning in the brain box or even a fetish for the Telegraph Crossword!
Everyone has a story to tell and the benefit of a blog enables us to tell our stories to the wider world and who knows someone might like what you write and a comment or two is good too!
Viewing time in a different light can also help you to see things in a completely changed way. Consider each moment as being an improvement on the last. You can do this with little effort, finding something new to be grateful for in each new moment of every day, looking forward to finding those momentous moments each and every morning as you open your eyes. Look for them, search for them, list them and be grateful for them all, as you appreciate their appearance bringing you the essence of happiness. Be like me and try to grow old disgracefully!